Maybe it’s more simple than that – maybe the American people need a comedic relief from all the pain and suffering that they’ve been going through in recent months. Speculation of a double-dip recession, concerns about the environment, concerns about BP dumping millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, and even concerns about mainstream, oft-trusted companies like Johnson & Johnson poisoning their children. Maybe America does need a break; because it just doesn’t seem like Lindsay Lohan going to jail for 90 days should be this big of a deal.

More of my two cents.

Ranter

It’s time to move along folks – this story is well past its 15 minutes.

ranter

Fortunately for all of us, it’s quite likely that Sarah Palin’s day-time television show will only be as long and successful as her time on the VP ticket. I’m just constantly amazed that this woman hasn’t faded into obscurity, but then I have to imagine it’s the same reason that freak-shows and carnival amusements succeed over time. She’s like a car wreck – you don’t want to watch, but you’re compelled to see the horror.

A special thanks to Robin Williams and David Letterman for making this “rant” possible.

Ranter

The good news, though, is that it gets better.  I’m actually quite surprised that we haven’t seen this family on Jerry Springer, but perhaps that will be next.  If you believe the RNC she’ll be running for office again at some point in the future…

So anyway, in case you were fortunate enough to miss the brief, Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy is “former high school hockey player” Levi Johnston, also 18.  His mother, Sherry, was recently arrested on multiple felony drug counts after she sent a pair of text messages to police informants discussing drug transactions.  Meanwhile, back in Wasilla, Bristol continues studying for her GED while her baby-daddy works as an apprentice electrician.  Of course, governor Sarah Palin’s office declines to comment on anything (probably for fear that it will end up on YouTube), which will simply leave us to speculate.

Can you imagine how great the white-house dinners could have been with the whole cabinet and family around.  Sarah could introduce her husband the snow bunny, her GED seeking, unmarried, welfare bound, daughter, her grand-daughter, her daughter’s baby-daddy the apprentice electrician, and perhaps even a Fathead representation of Grandma Sherry who’s presently incarcerated on drug charges.  Almost makes me think Bush wasn’t so bad.

Finally, for those of you wondering, there is no grounds for a claim of statutory rape in Alaska, because their laws are different (of course).  First, the age of consent in Alaska is 16.  Secondly, the way the Alaska laws read, statutory rape only applies to consensual sex with a minor under the age of 16 when more their ages differ by more than three years.  In other words, 20 year old man who has sex with a 15 year old girl, in Alaska, is guilty of statutory rape. A 17 year old male who has consensual sex with a 15 year old girl is not guilty of statutory rape, under Alaska law.  So much for abstinence.

Ranter

In typical GM fashion, there is a spin and a feeling, and in this case more than most they don’t mesh.  The announcement is saying to me “GM is broke, and Buicks aren’t selling – Tiger or not.”  The PR machine is spinning out a mutual, amicable separation:

“Tiger is expecting a second child in his family and he’s looking for more time in his schedule,” said Peter Ternes, G.M.’s director of communications for sales, service and marketing. “At the same time, General Motors is looking to cut costs… we both agreed that we would part our ways.”

After ten years of Buick ads and the automaker’s logo on his golf bag, it’s definitely going to be a change for the average golf fan, but in the big scheme of things it’s obvious that someone else will pick up Tiger Woods and his bag will not remain promotion-free for long.

Now if GM, while they’re seeking a loan from taxpayers, would only stop running their “Get You the Loan You Want” advertising, then all would be well.  But, that might be hoping for a little too much.

Ranter

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kjM1asH-8

What’s really hillarious to me is how ignorant she really is.  The media is playing her while the crackpot behind her is playing with my turkey dinner before stuffing it into some weird contraption.  All the while she’s rambling on about business, how the campaign trail was, and what she’s going to do for Alaska.  Heck, the only reason I like seeing Sarah Palin in the news is that I know Saturday Night Live is going to feature Tina Fey re-enacting the stupidity with an audiance laughing all the way.  Do you think John McCain is watching this thinking to himself… “thank God, it’s over.”

Ranter

I’m not Keith Olbermann’s biggest fan.  Honestly, even today I feel like his passion is sometimes misdirected, but his comments supporting same-sex-marriage [ no on Proposition 8 ] are spot-on, and he deserves accoldades for his passion, professionalism and journalism.  Take a minute to hear his word and try to explain how you could possibly justify voting to change the constitution to segregate a portion of the population based on their sexual preferences.

Ranter

Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth I cringe and now looking back I am thankful that the masses of America made the decision to elect Barack Obama President of the United States.  What’s frightening to me, though, is how many Americans were willing to vote for a ticket that includes someone this unqualified, evangelical, and unable to articulate a cogent thought.  My hypothesis… Americans saw an attractive woman in a skirt and voted for the person they wanted to see on television.

I know, that’s probably a wee bit unfair, but ask yourself – if you couldn’t see Sarah Palin on television, would you even consider voting for her?  Would the country consider a vice-presidential candidate that doesn’t know what a VP does, can’t name a periodical, didn’t have a passport until the year of their running for office, and considers being able to see Russia from a small island off the coast of Alaska foreign policy?  I don’t think they would, even looking at whatever good they wanted to find in her voice, American’s aren’t that stupid.

So where does it stand now?  There is talk that Sarah Palin will be running on the Republican ticket in 2012, virtually assuring Barack Obama another term in office.  There’s also talk that when Alaska loser Senator and convicted felon Ted Stevens is booted from office that she’ll make a run for that seat.  In a state that would re-elect a convicted felon, it’s quite likely she could stand a chance of winning that run, too.  On that, though, I may be beating a dead horse.  I’m just tired of hearing her voice and hope you are, too.

Ranter

West Hollywood isn’t the most conservative area of the country and the mostly gay community isn’t usually full of people protesting the treatment of ultra-conservative, Republican Christians like Sarah Palin, but some neighbors recently went protesting to the home of Chad Michael Morisette, a professional window display designer, who has a life-size mannequin of Palin in front of his house.  No, they’re not upset that a representation of Palin has come into their neighborhood – they’re upset because Sarah Palin is hanging from a noose wrapped around her neck with McCain right above her.

“They told us we respect you as artists, we’re just concerned about the effect on the community,” Morrisette said. “I don’t resent them. I’m not angry at them. I respect their rights.” Morrisette, 28, said he talked by phone last night with West Hollywood Mayor Jeffrey Prang. He said Prang told them that he respected his first amendment rights but urged him to take down the display. “He said, “Think of the bigger picture,’” Morrisette said. “I told the mayor I will have it down by 8 a.m. Saturday. He said, ‘Thank you, the sooner the better.”

Happy Halloween, Sarah Palin.

Ranter

Heidi Klum and Seal

Following some of the dumber ideas that I’ve seen in recent years, Heidi Klum and Seal are following the bandwagon started by Susan Sarandon, Stephen Baldwin, and Michael Stipe saying that they’re going to leave the country if John McCain wins the Presidency.  Hearing that I wish that they’d follow Tina Fey who says she’s leaving the planet.

Of course, I think it’s important to note that Seal can’t even vote in the election.  If he’s not willing to take the steps necessary then I think he should just shut his pie hole keep his opinions to himself.  As for Heidi, I wonder if she is even going to vote, although after hearing her reasons for wanting to meet/get to know her husband I have to wonder to myself – is this really the person that I want trying to decide who should be our next president?  Do you?

As for the rest of you threatening to leave if McCain is elected, and I don’t want McCain in office, either, the only thing I would take time out to say is this – America isn’t great because of our President or the people we put in charge.  America is great because of the citizens and what they bring to the table.  The government only goes so far and then it is our responsibility to make this country great.  We provider the work, the workforce, the financial freedom, the passion, and the commitment to make the country great.  Don’t give up on that because the person you want isn’t on top – do you share, live your life, and make this country what you want it to be.  Because, no matter who is elected, this is the greatest country on earth.

Ranter